What if...

what if you strongly dont like/agree with something or some issues being opened but having difficulty to fight over it? Yeah It happened with me at some point, its really "blood boiling" BUT if you know that you can't/ dont have enough point to prove your view, it just means that, in a positive way, you must find you strength and cultivate it, not just detect it (your strength) but you make a full use of it!! Even tough there's a high possiblity you can't do anything/ you're gonna lose, it doesn't mean you lost here, there's another time for you!

Random talk..

ARGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate blogging!!!!

susah ja aku edit ne post tadi, tiba2 psl internet connection kacau.. panat ba mau taip!! F*** You stupid signal!!!

A view about "romance" *goosebump*

hmm, how to start then? To put it simply, I strongly dislike romance, or anything to do with it, cuz I think its a bull****! Haha, no offence to those who like to romance2 thingy. Yeah I'm harsh but that's me..

Actually I used to addicted to this kind of thing, anything with "hint" of romance will put a silly smile on my face, even I tried to find hints on romantic feelings in Power Rangers kids show some time ago ahahhaha.. I loved it when I see 2 ppl loving each other in what ever way, used to watch romantic movies a lot, romantic series..

But now, the feeling slowly decreasing to the level of "need treatment", now I dislike anything about romance, maybe not all, if its in "high" quality mean its closed to reality and somehow believable...

Its sad for me to see many issues of social problem caused by this soo called "romance", hmm I see things from this point of view based from news and real situation happening to my eyes.. maybe I have view of parents already.. how to explain this... like feeling "worried" about having ur young child having special boyfriend/girlfriend, hmm something like that.

Everytime I see a couple, esp young ones, I feel uneasy, more like goosebump... how can someone so young even underage doing things like hugging, leaning close to each other, just to expres that they were "sooo in love"? I honestly thought they were more in "lust" than in love, it really irks me if those who don't even have a face of "couple"... totally annoying!

Moreover, I'm minimizing my preference to see any material related with romance.. like poems, story, movies, esp with those "Heart" and "love is Cinta" thingy. I never watched those, cause I felt annoyed with the trailer, and "love" was the main theme in those movies, which saddens me... whereas "30 hari Mencari Cinta" is quite enjoyable, its comedy and it really show how "hard" it is to find someone who truly is meant for you. "Effil I'm In love" was totally the worst for me, soo out of reallity in my opinion and I'm glad I've watched it cause I can expect which kind of movies will show this kind of "rubbish" again.

Well maybe this explains why I don't have boyfriend yet, I used to try, with someone who's totally honest to me, sentimental and sweet in my opinion, but I just won't feel anything to him, we used to do silly things like changing diaries, but.. but....maybe I expect to much from him, which he dosen't, then I want to be "friend" to him again, uhmmm the things is I can feel he was totally serious about about me, and feel "betrayed" of my action, and he won't talk to me like we did before.. I wonder where is he now? *sigh* what a childish moment those days ehehe..

But that gives me a really good reason not to find someone again, I know how it feels to be "rejected" by someone you really like/love. Even though I haven't experienced it yet. I don't want to hurt myself and anybody anymore, ehem I feel weird with my own self now...

This time, if I want to romance with some one, that would be the day that I will give my full commitment to that person, more like I'm ready to spend my lifetime with him, not trying things out whether we're compatible or not..heh that makes me more of don't want to do it!

little things about my blog

If you're reading this blog of mine now, I can assure you that you guys are one of few ppl to read mine.. I have my own reason for this..

Firstly, I dislike publicity, I won't go around the net or even real world to ANNOUNCE that I have my own blog, that's not going to happen for now, you see the only place i ever reveal my blog is at friendster, CVSF forum blog, its to show (and I mean it) that I support this community truthfully, and my family also. About frienster, I only add someone I really know dear readers..

Secondly, I rarely update much from my blog, its due to uncontrolled situations.. I really dont like the non-up-to-date stuff ehehehe, that's why I don't want to bother someone who have the particular perspective like me to read my late updated blog.

Third, I have both strong and biased opinion about certain issues, and sometimes I may become a b*tch who just say things without considering the effects from my action. I'm a very careful person if I'm rational at my best, and things go "hell" If I'm not. Try reading through my entries and guess which post is describing my mood was.. you will know straight away. A warning though, don't try to test me after this about it, I may dislike you forever, as I did to someone... I'll tell you about it, its a long story. Trying to "repair" your image to me may take forever unless you can show your sincerity.

Fourth, come on! Do you really have time to read these entry of mine? Well if you do, thank you very much. I'm honoured. BUT I feel its better to do smt else than reading this ahahaa. This blog is MAINLY and ONLY about myself! Not others! I wont tell you about how great my friend is, how beautiful she/he is, how they helped me etc etc.. seriously, i don't want to ruin their privacy even the slightest. They may don't mind but things happen sooo.. that it!!!

Lastly, I'm all about freedom, freedom to choose how to do it and why doing it, regardless of other's ppl opnions.

Ajam (AZAM) tahun ne~~

ekeke kolo mau crita pasal azam menyajam ne, smua pun bulih huraikan bha kan? kan?

Hmm sa pun ada jg bha azam sendiri tahun ne, byk jg la sa mau buat, kalau difikirkan balik napa sa ne gitu2 jg keadaan sebab sa tak bt apa2 azam hmm hmmm..

Azam sa tahun ne secara kesimpulannya, sa mau lebih berdisiplin dalam segala hal uhuhu!!

ish sa chou lu!!

edit!!

Makin byk pula jemaah hj p makan sana cafe tuh, nda sedap pla hati sa lebih2 lagi ne gambar wallpaper sa ne ehehe..

Disiplin sa pula dalam macam2 hal jg la, tp yg paling penting pasal study gitu..
lps tu kecantikan diri dan masa.. malas pula sa mau huraikan pasal ne.. len kali la.. begegar ba jari sa menaip tahan kesajukan alala.

sini kat KLIA

ceritanya panjang sepanjang panjangnya, dipendekkan macam ne la...
flight sa dr KL p Kuantan kena cancel, nak confim btl2 kena cancel dr Air Asia ne satu masalah yang sangat rumit berabis, kolo btl di"cancel" ertinya kena cr alternatif len amacam mau sampai kuantan dan balik kat UMP, sama ada naik bus sambung menyambung ka atau naik ja kapal MAS, HUH ne dua2 cara ne sa blum lg pernah try ooo.. last2 pakai ja kapal MAS, atas faktor keselamatan, hmm gitula

So skrg ne sa tengah duduk kat KLIA ruang kedai kupi, doidogok satu jus biasa pun harga suda sama mcm makan tengahhari punya set?!!! trus tengah2 bosan ne ambil la laptop kat beg, men internet, tp takut2 jg mana tau diorang spy sa alalalla..

Sini sunyi jg laa.. sikit urang.. tiada nasip kolo nampak pelancung asing pun ada mat2 bangla sama nepal masing2 bawa kotak basar2, mcm plasma tv ja sa tingu tuh? tula yg menghairankan sangat ish ish...

jam 3.56, nda lama lg jam 4, sebelah kiri aku counterm makan, byk jemaah (mungkin kot) tengah order makanan..

nanti sa sambung lagi kolo ada lg k?